Sunday, March 30, 2003

My Soulmate says that this guy - Gael Garcia Bernal - is the male species' equivalent of Gardenia Bread. Masarap kahit walang palaman.

I wouldn't know. I'm not a big eater of bread.

I'm currently watching JOSH GROBAN (everytime I write his name, I do it in all-caps, I can't help it) on MYX. I'm all a-quiver. Andrea Corr just came on - I want to kill this woman. I take consolation in the fact that when a local DJ was asked if she was really as beautiful as she looks on print and TV, he said "make up is a wonderful thing." Tee-hee.

Because I am currently preoccupied, I'll write in you later.

<--because I figured that we had enough of the kitty for a while.

It was said, by those who know such things, that:

[mood] swimming in thought soup
[mental turntable] Alejate by Josh Groban

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Conversation with one of the coolest people I know:

fairytales_320: hi, i have 10 min to talk, so this will be my "e-mailing pia" time :D
thursdayschildtoo: i don't get it...but ok
fairytales_320: i have an audition later on today that i need to get sleep for and i have my play later on today (not to mention that i need to type out 2 more other e-mails b4 i go to bed), so i can't stay up too late (it is 4:15am right now)
thursdayschildtoo: ok....um e-mail or talk when you can - i'm always here anyway
fairytales_320: silly girl, i am talking to u now...and chatting is better than an e-mail cuz it's interactive. how have u been?
thursdayschildtoo: uh....crazy
fairytales_320: really? how?
thursdayschildtoo: deadlines; updating my blog
fairytales_320: so is work kicking your ass?
thursdayschildtoo: me....LOL!! like i'd let someone else kick me around
fairytales_320: yea, your right...just wanted to hear how much butt "U" were kicking!!!
fairytales_320: have been able to be social lately?
thursdayschildtoo: no way! the last time i went out was a month ago
thursdayschildtoo: this concert by stephen speaks
fairytales_320: so, just work and straight home?
thursdayschildtoo: basically....play with cats, feed cats, feed self, wash up, sleep
fairytales_320: dream about erik ;P
thursdayschildtoo: noooo....erik got a girlfriend :p
fairytales_320: no! not since jan 26th
fairytales_320: but erik is recovering and getting better
thursdayschildtoo: before that i meant
fairytales_320: so, have u been on any dates since ending your relationship?
thursdayschildtoo: nope. not interested anymore
thursdayschildtoo: are you recovering ok?
fairytales_320: for the most part. i fall back into my lapses, but i am trying to keep myself occupied and get things going w/my life. still it is hard cuz i was in love w/her (my 1st), so i still replay everything in my head
fairytales_320: u?
thursdayschildtoo: that's how it is with first times
thursdayschildtoo: i really don't think i'll ever recover
fairytales_320: wow, even after talking w/me!?! ;)
thursdayschildtoo: you know what i mean
fairytales_320: even though it is set up for that ever important "1st time" i think that if you allow yourself to feel again and take that risk that it will happen. i know that the "1st time" moment has really been built up, so try to releaze that that is not the "end all, be all", but u r an intelligent and awesome person, so life will totally work out for u
thursdayschildtoo: nope. it took me this long to finally fall in love. i hate that i was taken for granted when i put in every effort.
thursdayschildtoo: the fall out is too horrible.
thursdayschildtoo: and that's easy for you to say erik - you've never been ugly
fairytales_320: i can definitely feel u on that, but realize that there r 5 1/2 billion people out there and along the way u run into jerks and people that don't appreciate who u r and what u do. it's a learning process and u have to keep going and learn from everything. it's ok to take the time to learn about someone and keep the guard up for that, but don't let yourself be so hurt or get so jaded that u never let yourself take that chance again
thursdayschildtoo: how do you know who is or isn't the jerk?
fairytales_320: ok, i've definitely felt ugly for many moments in my life and i know what u look like, so don't even say that u r ugly. i think that the little things in life count and someone that is able to recognize and sincerely appreciate those things is someone that isn't a jerk. i think that in that instance it is clear to see if one is being fake about that
thursdayschildtoo: not really....sometimes the level of like/lust is too high to judge clearly
fairytales_320: i see that point, but i think that through time and events that u go through, it becomes more apparent (even with those "goggles" on) and u see the true content of character and personality cuz evn the best of con artists can't maintain "fakeness: through-out the course of time
thursdayschildtoo: i hope so...for your sake at least
fairytales_320: yours too, u better not shut down that great heart of yours
thursdayschildtoo: you deserve perfection
fairytales_320: before i can be worthy of derserving anything, i need to be able to be satisfied with me and who i am
thursdayschildtoo: good point
thursdayschildtoo: although self worth is indirectly determined by other's perception of you
fairytales_320: indirectly...but a significant other should be the compliment of an already complete person
thursdayschildtoo: good point. although useless info to me
fairytales_320: so, that fundamental sense of self worth should already be in place
fairytales_320: give yourself more credit pia...u r a cute girl with great intelligence, personality and an awesome heart
thursdayschildtoo: yup...that's me: the cute girl full of personality
fairytales_320: don't give me that sarcastic shit!!!
thursdayschildtoo: and don't yell at me!
fairytales_320: do u know how much props u need ot give yourself for being able to communicate so clearly with me while living in a foreign country that speaks such a foreign language
fairytales_320: i wasn't yelling..just emphasizing
fairytales_320: that is a hard thing to do
thursdayschildtoo: it comes from watching years of sesame street.
fairytales_320: ha :p
fairytales_320: what r u thinking?
thursdayschildtoo: reading my blog
thursdayschildtoo: *sesame street should win a nobel prize for something
fairytales_320: yea, i agree...what is a "blog"?
thursdayschildtoo: online journal
fairytales_320: am i in it? :">
thursdayschildtoo: i'm probably gonna put this up there later
thursdayschildtoo: i'm saving this conversation
fairytales_320: ok, cool
thursdayschildtoo: do you mind?
fairytales_320: well, i have to unfortunately say that i must go, but please realize that u r a great human and i am very happy that i know u and look very forward to the day that i get to meet u in person and give u a great big hug... no, i don't mind
thursdayschildtoo: thanks erik....i'll see you online soon
thursdayschildtoo: thankyou
fairytales_320: my address is .....erik collins (U WISH I'D POST THIS, DON'T YOU??) so mail me a letter and pix and i wil wirte u back, ok?
thursdayschildtoo: Pia Garcia (DREAM ON)
fairytales_320: good night (day :) )
thursdayschildtoo: you too, friend
thursdayschildtoo: be safe.....
thursdayschildtoo: break a leg

Thanks, Erik.

Horoscopes are crap and this proves it. This was in the Manila Standard yesterday:

Libra: You long to renew a relationship but view responsibilities with caution. This state of affairs tends to sabotage your love life. Give romance another chance. Aquarius plays a part.


I'm at work, blogging when I should be working (again). I'm not really sure if I even qualify as someone who has a horoscope since I was born on the cusp. But I laways read mine because it never matches the crap that's going on in my life anyway, but that one yesterday just made me suck in my breath. I wonder if he even thinks of me because that's all I do at night - think of him. I've given up hoping. Basta, all I know is that there is no space left for me in his life. And that is what will kill me....

Ended up texting all night with my BFF, Roxanne (WTF, I'm twenty-freakin'-five and I still use that acronym) because her mom is Satan's successor. I hate her her mom. Roxy's freakin' amazing and she doesn't deserve that harpy. I hope Roxy gets to be dirty, rotten, filthy, stinkin' rich and her mom swallows her tongue.

I hate feeling envious by the way. I hate the feeling inspred by that most famous of all muses - the green-eyed monster.

I dreamt about Tricia's hunny. We were sitting next to each other and we were talking. I was speaking in taglish, but I think he understood me. He showed me his wallet and I opened it and saw that it was full of photos of fans - in my dream I found it strange that it was full of photos of people from my high school. But when woke up, all I remembered was that the wallet he handed me was pink. I woke up and the first thing I yelled was "GET HIM OUT OF MY SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!".

There are still more feelings, but it's still in one big knot....I'm unraveling myself later.

[mood] craving.
[mental turntable] Black Black Heart by David Usher

Because I'm a Van Gogh fan....

the Which van gogh painting are you? quiz by bethany

....but I wanted to be Starry Night.

PS. I changed my template about a dozen times today. Blogger better come up with more because I change my mind a lot. I like blue......

Thursday, March 27, 2003



Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


The most horrible news I've received. EVER:

tori spelling

Your Inner Blonde is Tori Spelling

Skanky, wild, and a total daddy's ho.

Things are looking up for you as you've left your plastic 90210 days behind.

But honey, you look horrible as a brunette.

Who's *Your* Inner Dumb Blonde? Click Here to Find Out!

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Read Tricia's and Kim's blogs. They're gooooood.....

[mood] comfort me....shelter me
[mental turntable] Full of Grace by Sarah MacLachlan

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

A friend gave me this link on the net where you can design your own engagement ring. So I did. My ring is a little ornate, but since I may never get one, it's nice to dream.

I'll revise this as soon as I can collect my thoughts.

[mood] Missing Jon a lot
[mental turntable] Even If by Jocelyn Enriquez

My ring. It's perfect. Princess cut diamond center stone with matching princess cut diamond sidestones set in a simple platinum band. I'm planning on buying it as soon as I have the money. Probably going to cost more than a house, but WTF! it's my ring! Unless I can find out a way for Peter Phillips to propose. hmmmmm......


Peter Phillips - because his cousin doesn't do anything for me

must give me this:

See? Beside Peter, William looks....eh.

Her name is Saara, and this is her Blog.

From her March 24 entry:
I keep dreaming of you and things are the way they are now: I'm engaged to someone else, you've been out of touch for so long. We see each other - I think I've flown all the way there to see you only I cannot remember getting on/off a plane but there we are, and I pretend that it's all good, that I still don't get that sharp pain sometimes when I think of us, and you're being good, not just good, great: charming, sweet - all the things I loved you for. And I ask you those questions I've been wanting to for, ooh, 3 years now and you tell me truthfully that you were scared. We laugh and are so easy together. Your hair is longer and darker, curly even, you let the streaks of blonde grow out. I run my fingers through it playfully and it feels just the way it used to, thick and silky. You take my hand in yours and see my ring and then it hits me: we can't just run away and pretend it was all a bad dream. I have someone else now, someone not afraid to love me and make sacrifices for me. I tell you how good he is to me and you smile sadly, you know you missed your chance. I tell you you could have called me, could have let me know you were still mine all this time, but you tell me I should have known.

It hurts less now to think of you, less than last year, or the one before. Less than that last night we spent together where I felt I was tearing in two. Where we sat in our apartment and smoked and watched the snow outside swirl around the streetlight. I wished time would stand still, swore I would not sleep, but in the end I was exhausted from crying all week, and there was to be no last-minute reprieve. You held it together so well - you'd only ever cried that once, three months earlier, when I was trying to decide whether to go home then or stay for New Year's, the millennium and I asked you what you wanted and you said me. We slept badly that last night, I kept waking up to see the time. Finally we awoke at 5 and you were doing a great job of keeping me preoccupied until you found the card I had made for you and you collapsed on our bed, sobbing, clutching my t-shirt. We drove to the airport in swirling snow and I hoped for a moment that my plane would be grounded, but then it was only prolonging the pain. You watched me smoke my last cigarette outside the airport and snowflakes landed on my lashes and froze with my tears. You said we'd be together again but somewhere deep down I knew it was over...

Monday, March 24, 2003

tricia042: whachup?
thursdayschildtoo: wala....
there was a pause
thursdayschildtoo: sorry ha..nagchichismisan kami dito e
tricia042: whoops sorry
thursdayschildtoo: what's the unknown bang?
thursdayschildtoo: oks lang
thursdayschildtoo: CUUUUUTE ni mosier!!!
tricia042: kaw ha...
tricia042: i was talking about discovering an unknown band one night..Bang pala ung natype ko.
thursdayschildtoo: pero bata
thursdayschildtoo: kaya unknown bang! hahahaha!
tricia042: ethel liked the name, so.. un, hehehe, "future" band namen, hahaha
tricia042: kawww ha...
tricia042: papuntahin mo na rin cila dito...
thursdayschildtoo: pwedeh!!!!
thursdayschildtoo: i revised my blog...there are tests there...take mo rin
tricia042: hohohoho
tricia042: i'll check it out in a while.
thursdayschildtoo: there's this one test...."is your pussy sweet or sour"
tricia042: eeew
tricia042: yeah...
thursdayschildtoo: mine is sweet
tricia042: aaaaack
thursdayschildtoo: take na kasi....arte mo....raprap took it
tricia042: hahahaha
tricia042: when i read ur blog
tricia042: i just have to send someone some stupid thing
thursdayschildtoo: when?
tricia042: heehee
thursdayschildtoo: what stupid thing?
thursdayschildtoo: sid is cute...pero his head is too big for his body
tricia042: oh boy.
tricia042: hahahahaha
thursdayschildtoo: i'm serious
tricia042: just some sample essays that we're supposed to read.
thursdayschildtoo: look! he has a big head!
thursdayschildtoo: check him out
tricia042: i ignored those essays and did my own thing.
tricia042: ok ok
tricia042: lemme see sid...
thursdayschildtoo: lemme read your stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!
tricia042: it's stupid. i don't even like it.
tricia042: hahahaha
thursdayschildtoo: so? i never like what i write anyway
tricia042: it's really bad. i swear.
tricia042: i've never written anything i liked this year.
thursdayschildtoo: mine's bad too....
thursdayschildtoo: i hated my SS article
tricia042: it's waaaaay decent... compared to mine.
tricia042: (how come ben gets the artsy pic?)
tricia042: owen's bio is so cool.
thursdayschildtoo: thanks for the compliment (friends talaga tayo) pero in hindsight - i went eeeeeeewwwww!
tricia042: hahaha
thursdayschildtoo: who's owen?
tricia042: the other guy heehee. tignan mo, saya
thursdayschildtoo: owen looks like emma thompson in drag
tricia042: what?
thursdayschildtoo: he looks like emma thompson
thursdayschildtoo: if emma were male
tricia042: hahahaha
tricia042: is bowling for soup really good?
thursdayschildtoo: WTH is that?
thursdayschildtoo: excuse me if i'm bitchy tonight
tricia042: band
tricia042: i always hear about them but ive neveer heard any of their songs
thursdayschildtoo: i don't know....i've never heard them
thursdayschildtoo: hey!!! you know nickelcreek di ba?
tricia042: yea yea y?
thursdayschildtoo: my channel - pinoycentral tv - is showing the video of this side
tricia042: oh....
thursdayschildtoo: wala lang....
tricia042: can't get the tv right now. dad's watching, hahahah...
thursdayschildtoo: overstating my importance hehehehehe
tricia042: you can never overstate ur importance.
tricia042: hahahah
thursdayschildtoo: oh yeah
thursdayschildtoo: without me this world is a howling wilderness
thursdayschildtoo: i'm posting this converation in my blog....you better say something interesting
tricia042: what?
tricia042: oh yay, i'm a guest on PIA TONIGHT coolness.
tricia042: hahaha
thursdayschildtoo: oh yeah
thursdayschildtoo: i'm pissed and not in a good way
tricia042: ? at me?
thursdayschildtoo: no. at someone here...so if i don't answer agad...it means she's here an i have to be discreet....
tricia042: hahaha, ok.
thursdayschildtoo: i can't erase this kasi nga i'm putting it up on my blog
tricia042: i still didn't get the email thing for the quiz
tricia042: hahahahaha
thursdayschildtoo: password quiz
thursdayschildtoo: username quiz
tricia042: yeah.
thursdayschildtoo: hehehehe
tricia042: i didn't get that yet
tricia042: u know who becca is?
thursdayschildtoo: you will
thursdayschildtoo: becca is iceq's friend
tricia042: ah...ok.
thursdayschildtoo: she's australian ata. why?
tricia042: i'll enter my other email na lang.
tricia042: she's in the chat...
thursdayschildtoo: inaagaw si badain?
tricia042: hahaha, hey
thursdayschildtoo: who else is in the chat?
tricia042: not every girl i ask about is Dain-related! hahaha! though im gonna ask her just that...
thursdayschildtoo: hahaha! hindi makatiis!!
thursdayschildtoo: there's this telephone from nokia that looks like a Prest
tricia042: Preset?
thursdayschildtoo: Presto
tricia042: Prest? *my typing suchs
thursdayschildtoo: the sapatos from nike
tricia042: ugh. sucks
tricia042: oh yeah.
thursdayschildtoo: look..it looks like the sapatos
thursdayschildtoo: she likes dain
tricia042: yeah. check ur pm. in irc
thursdayschildtoo: tricia, i'm posting this
tricia042: why?
thursdayschildtoo: because i'm pissed and because you're my katukayo
tricia042: take it easy. whoever it is, that person's not worth a frown line on the forhead
thursdayschildtoo: hay nako...posting this.... stop this na

I don't like it when people take manners for granted. I cannot stand it when people assume that we are so close that basic graces are overlooked. I would never do that. It makes me want to go .

I want to go home because I'll be able to lay my head on my pillow. But I don't want to because my dad will be there.

My home was solace before he came. Everything there was comfort...now it's just purgatory.

See you tomorrow.

I'm a published writer. Check it out if you ever stumble upon my blog at 3am and have nothing better to do.

Watching CNN again. I'm tired of seeing those two idiots and their cojones contest. Someone give them each a pair of gloves and just let them slug it out. It's a grudge match anyway. Anak ng kalungkutan naman o.

[mood] i'm hungry. i hear the cafeteria calling.
[mental turntable] Shut Up by Kelly Osbourne

This is the band I've been driving myself insane over. I have no idea why they have that effect on me. I'm way beyond the age where you get all quivery over musicians, yet here I am "sitting here slack jawed with nothing to say" everytime I go to that site. Never fails.

Sunday, March 23, 2003

I have this gay friend who just luuuurves polluting my mind with things like these.

I intend on passing on the favor. ENJOY!!

prince charming

Your Guy is Prince Charming!

The man for you is Prince Charming.

You need a sensitive, romantic man who will understand and listen.

You enter into relationships for love and need a committed man who will provide plenty of love and security.

What Guy is Right for *You*?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Paki-baba ang kilay ko.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Best Matches Your Sex Style?

Jeeeez....I wanted to be Samantha. ROFL!!!

bikini panties

You Are Bikini Panties!

Cute, but conservative.

Girl next door hottie.

What's Kind of Panties Are *You*?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Cool. I wear these.

I've never had more fun taking online quizzes.
If you happen to stumble upon my blog, do take the quizzes and then tell me how you did, ok?

My Phase is Ate

Which Phase of the Greek Tragic Cycle Are You?

Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons


What's happening today....

Checking out a singles site and I just saw the most incredible guy. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a romance novel....I sent in a response to his ad. No expectations of course. I'm through with being hopeful. No point in getting all worked up over something useless, right?

I just got out of a really harrowing relationship. And the word relationship in this case is very loosely - I treated it seriously and he didn't. I think the word "love" was even used a few times, but it was always initiated by yours truly. I should've taken the hint from there and just run in the opposite direction, but I didn't. See, when you're blinded by overwhelming infatuation you really can't think straight. You're so blinded about the prospect of what could be with the other person that you think the world is a shiny, happy place. Then of course some redneck had the audacity to declare war. sheesh.

I keep thinking, at what point does the world recognize that only people who are beautiful have the right to fall in love and have their happily-ever-afters? I've been ensnared in this mortal coil for 25 years and have yet to find someone who will walk the ends of the earth for me. I would love to be part of that entire scene. Don't get me wrong, I still don't buy the "you're other half is out there" bullshit. Because think of it this way, what happens if you don't find each other? Regardless of your efforts to find him/her of course. Because let's face it, you have to work hard for something that's gonig to be worth keeping, right? If you don't find The One, what happens then? Do you live half a life? Do you love people by halves? And what about the empty half of you? Does it wither and die? Someone who's in the know, please explain it to me.

[mood] sleepy as hell
[mental turntable] Walkin' On Broken Glass by Annie Lennox

Saturday, March 22, 2003

This song is repeating itself over and over and over in my head. It's my brains' equivalent of coccaine. or Pringles. You know, once you pop, you can't stop! hehehehe....

That must be why I have a migraine.

[mood] happy/nervous alternately
[mental turntable] Crazy by Britney Spears

....i don't know about you, but i like the cow....

Thursday, March 20, 2003

On this day:

* War started - possibly even world war III. We don't know really. Too early to tell.
* My dad's birthday. I know I should be home...but I'm too freaking lazy.

I went through 3 different templates before settling on this.

It's nice.

Looks all summery.

I hate avocados, though. Can we put a cat up there?

Owi's Page

My friend's page. Better than mine. Actually, better than anything I will ever create. I'm new at this; a reformed luddite, one might say. That and I'm not really much of a writer. Oh, I write all right, but not Pulitzer material. I want to be Wally Lamb, or Eve Ensler; Nick Joaquin; F. Sionil Jose or Maya Angelou. Alice Walker....oooooohhhhh. Instead I'm stuck here. For the moment at least. There's hope.

Oh and check out: Siegesation. He's good. There's another one, but I forgot the address. Let me get back to you on that.

[mood] Eh.
[mental turntable] Me by Paula Cole

Thank you, Marco for this idea.

I exist in the crossroads of humanity.

I live at a time where I am untouched by war and yet I see it all around me. I am surrounded by depressing misery and yet I am able to laugh and go to sleep at night.

How am I so unaffected by all of this that I can feel empathy one minute and apathy the next? Shouldn't I be so mad that I'm out in the streets doing something instead of being in here and writing about this time in my life?

I hate this war. I hate that my family will suffer because of one man's inability to admit that he was fallibale - that he was human. Mortal. Just like me. And mortality includes times when you must suffer and be weak. I hate the fact that when this is over he will still be protected and his family will be safe while people who couldn't afford this war in the first place will be suffering. I hate that most of all. I hate him because he took the choice away from me.