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Thursday, January 30, 2003

complete (col. 2:9,10)
(t. mccloud)

if i lay my voice down at Your feet
will you still hear my song echoing
that i might end this game of hide and seek
because in You i am complete
oh in You i am complete
all the voices i hear in my sleep
all the sins of my past whispering
to stay off my knees and on my feet
oh but they, they can't compete
cause in You i am complete

I sent this song to Jonathan, believing that he'd realize how much I love him. He sent back something which basically said thet he didn't believe I felt that way. Ouch.

I don't much believe in happily-ever-after, especially for me. There is no such thing. And I never believed that there was one special person out there for me; neither did I put much trust in my relatives' belief that I would get marrried. Never. But with Jon, it was different. I would have walked the ends of the earth for this guy. I would have turned my back on everything that was home and gone with him. He only had to ask. That was the only thing he had to do. I would have sacrificed everything. EVERYTHING

It's all over now. I haven't heard from him in weeks and now, my heart is broken. Where I never believed I was capable of suffering for someone else's happiness, now I do.

I loved fully, and honestly, and truthfully when I fell in love with Jonathan David Oldhouser. And he didn't love me back. Never again. I will never, never love again.

Shop's closed. Love don't live here anymore.

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